Dear PCOS, You Suck.

Cycle Day 50. At this point a woman with a normal cycle and functional ovaries would probably have taken a pregnancy test and gone to see a doctor, either because she is pregnant or to try to find out why she hasn't gotten her period. But a woman with PCOS doesn't have it so easy.  My last three cycles have been 33-37 days long, oddly regular for me. I liked it. I can handle almost-regular. It keeps me from going crazy, thinking I might be pregnant, even with full knowledge of my lack of functioning ovaries. This is the misery that is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.

It's a mix of fear, hope and annoyance. A mix of feelings that I have dealt with since I was 17 and found out that I have PCOS. When I was 18 I went five months without a period, while on the pill. I was terrified, but after a few tests I knew I wasn't pregnant. Over the years I've had plenty of scares, like many women do. The difference was that I knew the possibility of me having an accidental pregnancy were pretty slim.

When my ex-husband and I were trying to get pregnant, I found out that I don't ovulate on my own. But I kept up serious hope that it would happen. I peed on a gazillion sticks, spent a bunch of money on an ovulation tracker gadget, took my temperature every morning, did three cycles of Clomid, tried herbal ways to help me ovulate, and just about anything else you can think of. I drove myself crazy, even with full knowledge that I couldn't get pregnant. Now, I don't want to get pregnant, but I'm constantly convincing myself that maybe I ovulated, maybe I'm pregnant. It's a giant game of "maybe" and it's not doing a damn thing for me.

Today I decided that maybe I should pick up a pregnancy test. Why? Because this cycle is much longer than the last few have been, I've had a couple days of queeziness the last couple weeks, I've convinced myself that I'm peeing way more than I usually do, I'm breaking out, I've been more tired than usual, my appetite is all wacky, and my mood has been all over the place. So, of course, all of that together means "OH MY GOD, I'M PREGNANT!", right? Maybe for some, but it shouldn't for me.

I know that the long, irregular cycle is simply because of my PCOS. I know that the queeziness and feeling "off" is probably because I'm obsessed with Dunkin Donuts' Pumpkin Lattés and have been drinking one almost everyday for the last couple of weeks, along with a Mtn Dew, and I really don't respond well to caffeine. I always pee often, and I know that if I actually am going more than before it's because of the caffeine and suddenly drinking more water. I know that I'm breaking out because while I'm using basically the same face wash as I usually do, right now I'm using a different version (liquid soapy type instead of the cream wash). I know that I'm tired more than usual because the caffeine I've been drinking makes me fidgety for a bit and then pretty much knocks me out. I can blame the appetite change on eating very late dinners and the caffeine upsetting my stomach. And my mood? Well, who knows.

I KNOW that the caffeine is pretty much to blame for my thinking I may be pregnant. I also KNOW that my PCOS never wants to cooperate and make life easy for me. Do I dream of someday having my ovaries work and having children? Yes. Would I be thrilled if that day were now, even though I know my boyfriend and I are in no place to have children? Yes. But I'm a smart girl, and I know that's not the case. But, every cycle I have that is longer than the last gets my mind racing. Have I looked to find out when I would be due if by some miracle I were pregnant? Yes (early July). 


Why do we torture ourselves like this? I know how important it is to know my body, and I've gotten to know it pretty well. I know I didn't ovulate. I know it was really odd for me to have three very similar cycles in a row, so I know that I'm due for a totally wacky one. PCOS is evil. Evil I tell you! Not only does it mess with our bodies in ridiculous ways that make us self-conscious (unwanted body/facial hair, anyone?), it gives us a truckload of dangerous health issues (high EVERYTHING), it gives us large bellies that already make us look pregnant, it messes with our minds ("Did I ovulate? Was that an ovulation cramp? OMG!", "Hmm, long cycle, am I pregnant? OMG am I pregnant?!") and more than anything it messes with our hearts. I know that my whole life, through my many changes in career dreams, the one dream that stuck was being a mom. At 17 I found out that might not happen. At 24 I found out that if it were to happen, it will probably end up being very expensive and impossible for me. At 26 I realized I have to start accepting that it will probably never happen, and I would have to learn to redefine the woman I want to be, because PCOS has taken my one solid dream away from me. At 27, I'm growing more and more comfortable with this new definition of Rachel that I'm working on, but I am still freaking out because PCOS is holding my period hostage. My PCOS has defined me, and that's not okay. 

Coming Out of Hiding...

I haven't posted in over a month. I kind of slipped into the shadows for awhile, as I was studying for the Certified Health Education Specialist (CHES) exam, which I took on October 16th. Studying was pretty consuming - both of time and mental ability, so I honestly did not even think about updating the blog.

Donnie and I made a weekend out of my exam. I took the exam at Western Michigan University, in Kalamazoo, MI, which is about 3 hours away from where we live. We drove out Friday night and came home on Monday. It was so nice to get a few days away, even if it wasn't for some exciting vacation. On our drive home we decided to take a bit of a detour and stopped in Hell. This is one of those towns where if you blink, you miss it. There's a restaurant/souvenir shop, ice cream/souvenir shop and an inn. We picked up a few things, had some super yummy ice cream and (pumpkin in a waffle cone made right there! yum!!!!!) took some pictures.




Since then, I was busy with work and just being lazy. I've realized I've put on some weight, so this will be a serious focus starting in November. I plan to set up a tv and dvd player in our empty bedroom upstairs so I can start using my exercise videos again. We also finally had money to do a big grocery shopping trip, so I put a few freezer meals together. I bought a bunch of pumpkin puree, so I'm on the hunt for pumpkin recipes. So far, I have made Pumpkin Pie Bread, which is delicious!!! It made me realize that I haven't been keeping a list of recipes I've tried, which I need to do for my 101 in 1001 list. So, I have to work on remembering some recipes I've made over the last few months that I've forgotten about.

On the topic of my 101/1001 list, I've made some changes, edited some items, and added to my list, making it a total of 110 items! I'm really so excited about everything on it, and can't wait to get to a few specific items.

I promise to work on updating more often, now that life has calmed down a bit and I've had my time to relax. *crosses heart*.

DIY Street Fair

The thing I love most about where we live is that there are tons of awesome festivals going on all summer. This past weekend was a three-in-one art fair. We only made it to one part, the DIY Street Fair. There were tons of tents of locals artists selling their work, a beer tent where the local microbrewery, The WAB, had a bunch of local beers on tap. I fell completely in love with Mt. Pleasant Brewing Company's Coal Stoker's Blackberry Ale. I'm all about fruity beer, and this was just delicious. I will definitely be seeing if I can purchase it anywhere around here. Donnie loved Atwater Block Brewery's Dirty Blonde. We didn't get to any of the food, but it was all from the bars in town and smelled delicious! The music was all local bands, and I must say, Detroit is still filled with incredible musical talent! I wound up buying a necklace from a local handmade glass artist who had the most amazing pieces. I seriously wanted to buy everything she was displaying! We chatted with the artist a bit and she was super nice and really sweet. I will definitely be buying more of her work in the future!


It's reversible!

My First OAMC Meal!

So, I did my cooking for my freezer meals on Monday, but we just ate the first one tonight. I can't complain, since we have eaten at home all but one day this week (we ordered pizza once), and now I can wait even longer to do a big shopping trip again! The first meal we tried was the Chicken Broccoli Casserole from Once a Month Mom. Overall, it was really yummy! I forgot to a picture, but it definitely didn't look like the picture on the website. I will definitely be making this again. The only problems I ran across involved our oven taking forever, as usual.

I also made Donnie's spaghetti sauce for the first time on Friday! It's far from my "kind" of food, because it has both ground beef and pork sausage, but it's so yummy that I really can't complain. And it came out awesome! I am excited because we love spaghetti, but Donnie never wants to make it, so now I can make it myself!

My New Favorite Snack!

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Originally uploaded by Rachel0506
I had a coupon for Blue Diamond Oven Roasted Almonds, so I picked some up on Monday. I got the dark chocolate covered ones and just tried them. WOW! Delicious! I had to jump on the computer and write a post to share this!!

She's got legs...

For those of you who have never been overweight, you may not understand how excited I am about my latest "I think I may be losing weight" realization. I swear my legs are getting thinner. I've noticed over the last few days that my thighs don't seem to touch as much as they used to. I don't feel like I'm losing weight, but I can FEEL a difference in my legs when I'm walking or standing. I wear a t-shirt for work and you can't even see where my thighs touch because the shirt falls lower. I don't think I'm just imagining this! But even if I am, it's motivating me, and that's enough for me.

It doesn't look like I'm going to ovulate this cycle. Taking my temperature drove me crazy too much. I started taking it at 5:25am because I randomly woke up at that time the day I wanted to start. This led to stressing over getting enough sleep, sleeping poorly, and waking up WAY earlier than I wanted. We also turned the a/c off during this cycle and started sleeping with the windows open, and that seems to have really thrown things off. My cervical mucus doesn't seem to be showing any changes in my hormones, either. We will see how things go in future cycles.

I've started really trying to focus on my diet again. I am trying to make sure we eat home more than we were, so I'm trying once a month cooking. Now, I don't have the freezer space for a month's worth of meals, but I have five meals in the freezer right now and have two more that I will make in the next day or two. Our biggest issue is not planning ahead and when it comes time for dinner we can't decide on anything, are missing a bunch of ingredients or just don't feel like spending the time to make anything, so we order out. I'm really excited to see how this works out for us.

On another note, I found out today that I am eligible for the Certified Health Education Specialist (CHES) exam that I registered for, so I ordered my study guides today and will be taking the exam on October 16th! I'm so excited! I don't know if this will help me find a job in the near future or not, but it won't hurt when I apply for jobs.

A Little Catch-Up

I've been really bad at updating lately. Hopefully after the grocery shopping trip I have planned for tomorrow and getting back to really gung ho about my diet I will be posting more.

I started charting this cycle. I had the WORST period of my life to start it off with. I was seriously in agony. There was a day where sitting in the chair at my desk hurt so much I just laid down on my office floor. And I work at a car wash, so nothing (other than the cars coming out!) is clean, including the office floor. But it felt so good! It's been hard getting back into the habit of charting after two years of not doing it. I'm hating taking my temperature in the morning! I have to temp vaginally because I sleep with my mouth open. Yesterday I think I was so tired when my alarm went off to take my temp (5:25am, because that's when I randomly took it the first day) that I forgot to actually turn the thermometer on and then fell asleep. When I woke up I removed it and turned it on and saw a really low temp. I don't think it was an actual reading because the last temp always shows up when you turn it on, and that temp didn't show up today. So, yeah, temping is driving me crazy. I will get used to it though, just like I did before. I've also been checking my cervical fluid. I have found that checking internally is the best for me. I didn't start this until a few days after my period ended. I definitely went from dry to one day of sticky to a few days of creamy so far. Tonight, though, it had a very pink/red tinge to it. I'm excited thinking this may be ovulation spotting, but it could also be any number of things, including my cycle being lame and my period being on its way. So we will see! I'm getting back to checking my cervix as well. I'm not marking these readings down yet because it's a sign that's very difficult for me to get accustomed to. So I'm kind of just scoping it out right now.

Okay, I just have to say that I love going out to eat and having complete control over my meal. Donnie and I were off today and ran some errands and decided to go out to lunch. We went to BD's Mongolian BBQ. I don't think if this is a national chain or not, but it should be. Basically, you get a bowl, go through a "salad bar" type line and pick your meat/seafood/pasta, then your veggies, then your sauces. Then you take it to a big grill and watch them cook it for you. I LOVE this place! I've been really trying to eat the best I can lately, given that I seriously need to go grocery shopping. This meal just made me happy. I had two plates today. The first was chicken (boneless/skinless), shrimp, broccoli, bean sprouts, pineapple, onion and edemame with soy and ginger sauces. The second was all veggies (since I was full but really wanted more!): broccoli, onion, pineapple, pea pods, baby corn and edamame with a sweet orange peel sauce and teriyaki sauce. Now, granted, the sauces weren't incredible choices as I'm sure they're filled with sugar and definitely lots of sodium, but I think overall it balanced out well. I just love that I had total control over my meal. I didn't have to ask for substitutions or feel bad about anything I ate, I didn't have to feel like "Well, most of this is good, so it's okay", or anything like that. I chose exactly what I wanted and it was delicious. And it was good for me, and totally within my diet. I walked away uncomfortably full but HAPPY.

Tomorrow I'm making salmon and I can't wait. I've managed to talk myself out of making it the last few nights because I never felt like going to the store to get stuff to go with it. How lame is that? The scale is not being friendly, so I'm very excited to go shopping and fill the house with yummy, healthy food!

OMG OMG OMG OMG

I owe Donnie $20. But I also have actual reason to think I ovulated! Gonna be charting this cycle to see what happens. Maybe I can check "ovulate at least once without medication" off of my list! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PCOS BE DAMNED!!!!!!!!

Holy Body Confusion, Batman!

So, with PCOS, a common symptom is irregular cycles. This was my very first symptom, and it's stuck with me for almost 16 years now. The only time I have ever had a regular cycle was while on birth control, and even then it was sometimes still wacky. So, here I am, 27 years old, slowly giving up on the idea of ever having kids, and I decide to start really battling my PCOS on my own. I've done birth control, I've done Metformin, and while I have no complaints about any of it, no bad side effects or anything, I just don't want to do that anymore. I want to see where I can get just by changing how I eat, exercising, and working with the problem instead of masking it. So, I started the Ultra-Metabolism diet and while I haven't been wonderful with it (which is directly related to my lack of blogging lately), I do try to stick to it when I can. Well, after about six months of getting my period every two months-ish, I ended up getting it in June, and 33 days later in July. I remember texting my BFF and telling her I got it and it was weird because it had only been four weeks, lol. Now, 31 days later, it seems like another cycle may be moving in. Of course, I may be wrong. But, on August 5th, Cycle Day 19, I was complaining to my BFF about my ovary hurting. Did I ovulate? Maybe? I don't know! But I'm excited. To think that while I'm still totally unhealthy, a super simple change may have led to my body self-regulating, is just - I don't even have the words. So, here's to hoping that a new cycle starts in the next few days!!! Though, I'd be happy if it didn't, because if it does, I owe Donnie $20. I've been super irritable the last few days and he has noticed a direct link between that my period lol. So, we shall see. If it does come, I will be doing some serious charting this next cycle to see what happens.

A Mile a Minute

It's been awhile, I know. Life has been pretty crazy. We had a surprise 50th birthday party for my mom last Friday, so the last few weeks have been packed with preparing for that. My best friend came out from Philadelphia for the weekend and the party. I hadn't seen her since April '09, so that was fun. My eating kinda went out the window. And the scale is showing it. So, my big focus now is on getting back to eating well and starting an exercise program this week!

Here are some pictures to catch you up on the last couple weeks of my life:

This was Donnie's brother Cody's 21st birthday on July 31st. This pic is Donnie, his dad and Cody.


Cody and I


This is my parents at my mom's party. They have been married 28 years but never had an "official" first dance, so I picked a song ("You're the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me" by Gladys Knight) and surprised them!


Tuesday and Wednesday this week were taco night at our house!


The peanut butter I have been using.


I love the ingredients! Or should I say INGREDIENT!


A big batch of Stonyfield Farms Organic yogurt (plain) with vanilla extract, blueberries, blackberries, raspberries and chopped walnuts - pretty tasty, but I'm gonna try to get vanilla yogurt next time.


The best part of my breakfast for the last couple of weeks - flaxseed bread with peanut butter and sliced banana...YUM!


If you've never tried Fuze drinks, you should. I love them. They aren't really juice at all, and the ingredients aren't completely great, but it's far from bad for you, unlike many drinks!

A Pleasant Surprise

Wow, I'm really sucking at updating lately. I've been working so much and I think I'm just worn out. But, let's see...I was debating whether or not to move on to Phase II of the Ultra-Metabolism Prescription this week or not. I was thinking I'd extend it to four week instead of the three, because I wasn't 100% on plan the whole three weeks. I chose to move on, though, because the food options opened up so much and I really just wanted new food. So, on Tuesday I started Phase II. This phase is the "for life" phase. It reintroduces dairy, eggs and gluten. I haven't had much money for grocery shopping this week so I didn't ease them in like I was supposed to. The plan recommends adding them back in one at a time, with a few days in between so you can see the reactions your body has. I know I'm lactose intolerant, so I picked up Lactaid chewables so I can enjoy dairy. I know I'm okay with eggs, gluten I think I may need to be careful with. So, I'm paying attention. But, I've been so happy to have some yummy grainy bread, whole wheat pasta, and eggs! My food the last couple of days has been so yummy. I haven't been taking pictures, though. Breakfast has been what I've been looking forward to for three weeks - scrambled eggs with shredded cheddar, salsa and sour cream, and toast with peanut butter and a banana.

The pleasant surprise was when I got on the scale this morning. I am down 6.4 pounds! That is just since July 5th. I've never lost weight that quickly! I can only imagine what it would be if I had been 100% on plan! I have my Wii Fit goal as losing 8 pounds by August 5th, so I'm thinking it might actually be possible! I'm so excited and so motivated. I used to be happy to lose .2 pounds a week, so this is just crazy for me. And all I've done is change how I eat! In the past, the best weight loss plan for me has been being on both birth control AND Metformin, and twice that led to losing 15 pounds in 3 or 4 months, so I'm actually losing FASTER this time! It's amazing how simply changing what I eat is brining such amazing results.

It's Been Way Too Long...

I don't know why I haven't posted in 11 days! I mean, life has been busy, but, wow. I need to work on that. Now I need to think back and figure out what has been going on.

Well, first off, Donnie and I went camping this weekend. This was my first time camping and I loved it! I peed in the woods, swam in a lake, sat around and did nothing, cooked food over the campfire, slept in a soaking wet tent and saw beautiful night skies. It was a much needed mini-vacation for us, and I can't wait to do it again. I even got to knock two goals off of my 101 list - visiting a place in Michigan I've never been to and going camping. Foodwise, I was pretty good. I didn't intend on staying 100% on plan, so overall I was happy with how I handled things. I packed way too much food. I planned for more meals than we ate there and just wasn't hungry enough for a full three meals plus snacks. I made a big batch of smoothies at home and threw it in a ziploc bag, and had that for breakfast two of the three days. Donnie and I ended up going out to breakfast on Sunday and I went off plan and had a veggie omelet, hashbrowns, toast and orange juice. Oh man, did I pay for that. It was yummy, though! I definitely know that I need to avoid dairy (the cheese in the omelet, ugh), or at least get better about taking a Lactaid when I do have it. I have gotten so accustomed to just ignoring my lactose intolerance because I never got around to buying more Lactaid, and I just can't do that. I also had a very late night grilled cheese cooked over the fire, a couple of small hamburgers, and a couple of s'mores. Oh, and of course there was some drinking. Other than that, though, I had my smoothies, munched on veggies and my first (crappy) attempt at salsa, chicken kabobs, fruit and almonds. I am still sore from swimming which feels great but is upsetting and a sure sign that I need to start working out.

On the diet front, overall I'm doing really well. Donnie makes me so happy when he tells me how proud he is of me! I've been struggling more and more as life as gotten busier, but I'm doing the best I can. I had one night about a week ago where I wound up eating a bunch of crap and definitely paid for it the next day. As much as I hate feeling yucky, I like the reminder to stick to my guns. I had stomach problems for a long time, but shortly after starting the Ultra-Metabolism diet all was well and I couldn't be happier. I've decided to extend the Phase I detox to four weeks instead of the three it's supposed to be, since I've been straying a bit.

Now for some PCOS stuff. My cycle is completely irregular when I'm not on birth control. I went off the pill back in January because my prescription ran out and I just haven't gotten to the doctor yet. I'm thinking I want to stay off of medication if I can, though. I want to see how my body is naturally functioning and how the lifestyle changes I'm making are effecting the various health issues I have. Anywho, so, my period has been every 2-3 months since going off the pill. My last period was July 18. So, color me surprised when Sunday brought on a new cycle! That means I had a 33 day cycle! WTF?! I'm being optimistic and thinking it's because my body is responding to the new way of eating and it's already having a positive effect on my hormones. I'm really hoping this is what it is, because that would make me SO happy! I can't wait to see all of the other changes I will see as time goes on.

Here are some pictures of food I've had lately.

This was salmon I made with a honey dijon sauce recipe I found on All Recipes.


Homemade hummus and veggies...mmmmmmmmmm



This is what I got when we ordered Chinese - steamed veggies, shrimp, chicken, scallops and lobster. So good! I skipped the brown sauce and forgot to specify brown rice so I had to make my own. I'm so excited to be able to order Chinese without worrying!



A yummy tuna lunch



Cilantro lime chicken with peppers, onion and rice



Italian herb and lemon chicken with artichokes and rice

It's Feeling Like a Lifestyle...

Friday was kinda hit and miss on the food front. Food was a big focus for the day, because I spent awhile messaging back and forth on Facebook with Donnie's cousin about our camping trip next weekend. I'm kind of nervous. I really want to stick to my diet as much as possible but it will be hard in that sort of situation, with limited storage space and everyone else eating differently. I have a big list of foods I want to take, most of which I can prepare ahead. It's just a matter of narrowing it down enough to be able to fit in a cooler. I'm confident, though. I may not get through the weekend 100% on plan, but I will do my best and enjoy myself and be proud of sticking to my guns. I got on the scale a couple of days early this morning and was down 2.6 lbs since Monday! If that's not motivation for me to stick to this plan as much as possible, I don't know what is.

I watched two movies yesterday, as well. Only one gets to go toward my 101, though. I watched Miss Conception, which was a lame romantic movie with Heather Graham using an English accent and trying to get pregnant when she finds out she only has one egg left and is about to ovulate. Cute, but lame as expected. It lets me knock M off of my list, though! When I got home Donnie and I watched Shrek the Third, because I hadn't seen it yet and want to see the new one. So cute! I love Shrek!!!! I'm also excited to report that we finally got the washer and dryer hooked up and I was able to wash two loads last night. It's crazy how big of a difference in your life simply being able to do laundry at home makes!

Yesterday wasn't overly exciting food-wise. I had my usual smoothie for breakfast, and totally bombed on lunch. I brought the leftover arugula salad, topped with some more baby spring mix greens and the golden vinaigrette dressing, a can of tuna and some white beans with dijon. It should have been yummy. But, there was so much oil in the dressing that it just ruined it all. I even went in the bathroom at work and drained some oil out but it was still gross. I ate as much as I could and gave up. I ate my almonds and went home and had a grapefruit. I sincerely believe this was the first time I've ever eaten a grapefruit without sugar! Yum! Donnie wasn't very hungry when I wanted to make dinner, so I just threw together a bit of a stir fry. I had an uncooked chicken breast leftover from the other night and some leftover rice. I cut up the chicken and cooked it in some EVOO with garlic and ground ginger, tossed in a bag of frozen bell pepper strips and some edamame. It was colorful and yummy and with some low-sodium soy sauce it was totally my kind of meal!

Chugging Along

Yesterday was so hot, work was miserable. I'm really hoping we can find a new a/c unit for the office ASAP because it's been 90 degrees in there the last few days and I've been miserable and crabby. The heat didn't help when I went to make lunch and realized the leftover Moroccehh Chicken I brought needed to be warmed up and with the extra Masala simmering sauce we added had a bit of heat to it. I nuked it a little and then let it cool down and it was still ehhh. Breakfast was yummy, though. I changed up the flavor of my smoothie and went with strawberry banana. I chopped up a couple of bananas and froze them overnight. Yum! So, this was Day 3 on the plan, and so far so good. It's proving a bit tougher when I don't have specific recipes to follow, and I will have to make a trip to the store tonight or tomorrow to get a few things. But, I'm absolutely loving cooking every night, and who would have thought that actually USING the kitchen would help to keep it cleaner! I'm also loving cooking for Donnie, who is a cook, and watching him enjoy not only the meal I made but a HEALTHY meal. He actually told me yesterday that he wants to start eating healthier, and I was so excited. He came home and tossed the leftover KFC we had in the fridge! My only problem now is we are going camping next weekend. We are going with his cousin and her boyfriend and she texted me last night asking if I wanted to get together before to plan meals and go shopping. I realized I have some serious planning to do if I'm gonna make it through this trip staying as close to on plan as possible. I think that if I can get through next weekend without too much damage, I can stick to this plan no problem.

Dinner was unplanned, so I figured I would just throw something together. I decided to make some Tilapia and an Arugula salad that was in the UltraMetabolism book. I really had no idea how to cook the tilapia, but found a yummy lemon butter recipe on the package so I went with that and it was a HUGE hit! I really have no idea if I'm able to have butter, as it's simply not listed under either "foods to enjoy" or "foods to avoid", but oh well. I figure that as long as I don't go crazy on it all of the time, it's okay. Moderation, right? (Don't mind my nasty stove in the pic, it got a good cleaning after!)



We also watched a couple of movies, so I get to knock 2 more letters off! We watched Public Enemies, which was a little slow and could have been WAY more exciting for what it was about, but was good overall, and I loved the eye candy cast - Johnny Depp AND Christian Bale in the same movie, playing cops and robbers? Oh yeah, I'm all over that one! We also watched The Gamer. Totally not my thing, but I needed to take care of G! It was an interesting concept. Donnie loved it because it had everything a guy "like him" wants: games, boobs and violence. Haha!

Morrocehhhh Chicken and 101 Update

Donnie stayed home from work today so I was able to enjoy some uninterrupted video time in the office. Since I didn't have any new shows to watch I got in Episode 2 of Season 1 of True Blood - damn Megavideo for cutting me off half way through episode 3! *sigh* After that I decided to just watch some movies online from Netflix. The first was I'm Reed Fish. This was a cute movie. It had a nice twist that I didn't expect and I enjoyed the story and loved the cast. Then I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic. It was totally lame but cute. Tonight we watched Halloween II, the Rob Zombie version. Oh my. I didn't think it was as gruesome as I had been told, but still pretty gory! I'm excited about all of these movies, because I hadn't seen any of them before, so I can check I, C and H off of my list for my 101! Woo hoo! That's 4 out of 26 movies already! I'm also on Day 6 of my restarted 365 Project. All of my photos are posted under the 365 Project tab.

Today was a good food day. Breakfast and lunch were the same as yesterday, with the addition of a banana with breakfast. I didn't finish my lunch because it was 90 degrees in my office (with the a/c AND a fan), so I didn't have much of an appetite. When I got home I made a new snack recipe out of the UltraMetabolism book. Artichoke Paste. It was super easy and yummy. I had it with Trader Joe's Multigrain and Flaxseed Water Crackers, which sadly aren't really 100% on the plan, but they're not far off and were the best flax crackers I could find when I was shopping.




For dinner I made the Moroccan Chicken recipe from the book. It's supposed to be with cauliflower, but I forgot to buy it, so I just threw in some green peppers instead. The recipe called for Garam Masala but I didn't figure out what that was beforehand so I just got some Masala Simmering Sauce instead. It also called for Pomegranate Molasses but I couldn't find that either, so I just eliminated it. I made some brown rice to have along with it, and to bulk it up. It was pretty bland as it was, so Donnie and I both added more of the Masala sauce after and that helped. Needless to say, I'll be eating leftovers but I probably won't make it again. Super filling and not too bad in the end, but not something we'd jump to eat again. I'll definitely play around with it and the way it's cooked, though.



For dessert I had a few pieces of Trader Joe's Organic Super Dark Chocolate. Now, I'm not a big fan of dark chocolate, but I know I need to become one. It wasn't too bad!

Yumminess and 101

Today was the first day of my UltraMetabolism Prescription. Phase I is a three week detox, avoiding dairy, eggs and gluten, and focusing on whole foods. I was hungry most of the day, so I know I have to make some adjustments tomorrow, especially with breakfast. I'm used to filling, fatty, high carb breakfast sandwiches so the smoothie I made was a big change.

For breakfast I made the Berriest Smoothie recipe from the UltraMetabolism book. Super yummy! With these super hot days we're having right now, this will be a pretty common breakfast!


For a snack at work I had an orange and some almonds. After work I had an apple and almonds, and later on a banana.


Lunch was the White Beans on a Bed of Greens recipe from the book. Donnie even tried some and liked it!


Dinner was super yummy. I made the Wile Salmon with Rosemary, Sweet Potatoes and Lemon Asparagus recipe, minus the asparagus. The recipe called for dry mustard, which I couldn't find, so I used dijon mustard. So good! Donnie really liked it, too, and said he'd definitely want it again.


I knocked another letter for my 26 movies off of my list today. We watch S. Darko: A Donnie Darko Tale. It wasn't as good as Donnie Darko, but still weird and interesting. So, 2 letters down, 24 to go!

Grocery Shopping and New Diet Plan

Tomorrow I'm starting the UltraMetabolism Prescription. I decided to skip the 1 week preparation as I didn't feel it was necessary for myself. I think it's a great idea to have people ease into no caffeine/sugar/high fructose corn syrup/pre-packaged foods, but I don't have problems with most of that stuff and I really wanted to just get started on the plan, as I had originally planned to start the preparation last week. I did a big grocery shopping trip today at Trader Joe's. I haven't been there in over a year and was so excited to go. I had picked out a few recipes from the book and was bummed that TJ's didn't have everything I needed. It's okay, though, I got alot of great stuff and am really excited for the yummy meals I'll be making over the next three weeks! I will say, though, I can't wait for the three weeks of this Phase I detox to be over! I'm already missing my eggs, cheese and pasta! I'm really excited to see how my body responds to this new way of eating. I'm obviously hoping for some great weight loss, but I'm also really hoping to find a healthy and natural fix for my insulin resistance. I will be using my blog as a daily journal to keep track of how I'm feeling and such. I will also post pictures and recipes. For all of my PCOSers out there, I'm really hoping I have found a new lifestyle that will get my body working how it is supposed to, PCOS be damned!

My 365 Do-over

I didn't really think that taking a picture a day for a year would be that difficult. I was wrong. I did great the first few days, mainly because I was actually out of my routine a bit, doing more than just going to work and coming home. So I realized I missed a few days. Not wanting to lie to myself about a challenge I chose to do, I'm starting over. I now have a new Day 1 and Day 2 photo and my new 365 Project started July 2, 2010. I *will* do this!

Only 99 Left!

So, today marks the day that I was FINALLY able to mark an item off on my 101 in 1001 list! And I actually get to mark off TWO things! Woo hoo!!!! I had to run to Office Depot during work today and picked up a 26 folder file case - with a handle! So, when we got home from work I sat down and made a list of all of the bill/paperwork categories I could think of, wrote out the labels and labeled the folders. Then I collected all of the bills and paperwork and put them away. Super lame and simple, I know, but everything I filed away was so scattered around the house, so it's really nice to finally have it all organized! I'm feeling such a sense of accomplishment and responsibility. For the first time in my adult life I'm able to pay all of my bills, and I'm so excited!

The second item I can check off is buying a washer and dryer! I just bought a set from a friend's estate sale at her mom's. We'll be picking them up tomorrow! I'm overly giddy about the idea of being able to do laundry at HOME tomorrow night! I haven't been able to do that in over a year. It's another small thing, but I'm thrilled.

I'm really loving working on this list. While these two items were tiny, they're things that needed to be done, that will help me in other areas and really give me a sense of accomplishment. Little things like this can be easily overlooked, so it's nice knowing that I knew something needed to be done and I did it. GO ME!

2 down, 99 to go!

A Start on my 101

A couple of days in and I finally got a start on my 101 in 1001 list! One of my goals is to watch 26 movies I've never seen to cover the letters of the alphabet. Today I watched Julie & Julia, taking care of J - only 25 left!

I almost checked off "visit a place in Michigan I've never been" after my trek to the Kalamazoo area last night, but I didn't feel right about it, because I didn't really visit. I drove there, spent about 20 minutes at the school and drove home. It's okay, though, because we are planning a weekend camping trip up north for the middle of July! I plan on taking care of a few things on my list that weekend!

Also, I've finally gotten the first pictures in my 365 Project posted under the tab at the top of the page. Loving this challenge! Now I just need to find the cord for my camera so I can take even better pictures!!

Julia Child and Infertility

I'm enjoying a lazy Monday off after a busy weekend by watching Julie & Julia (for my 101 in 1001). I was filled a sense of....pride? when I found out that Julia Child and her husband, Paul, were unable to have children. I think part of my problem when going through my own battle with infertility was that I had always seen myself as a mother, and when I had to accept that this dream may never come true, I felt empty. What was my purpose in life now? But for some reason, knowing that Julia Child dealt with something I'm dealing with, and didn't even publish a cookbook until she was 49...well, it really helps me realize that I have time. Maybe I won't be a mom, but by focusing on my passions, my dreams WILL come true. Maybe not tomorrow, or in five years, maybe it won't be for another 20 years, but the key is to never give up yourself or your passions, even when one or two dreams prove incapable of fulfillment.

I will NOT let PCOS control my life. I will control my PCOS to the best of my ability and I will live MY life. I will not dwell on the bad cards I have been dealt in life, but instead will focus on the many blessings and the things I love. My PCOS was not given to me as an impediment to my living a happy and fulfilling life, but as a challenge.

I wanna go buy Mastering the Art of French Cooking now! Here's to you, Julia Child. A woman who simply did what she loved, reached her goals in her own way, and left her mark on the world.

I'm Still Here!

I feel like I've abandoned the blog a bit. Not sure why. But, I have lots to add now! I just finished an awesome book, Ultra-Metabolism, and will be starting a lifestyle change (NOT a diet!) using the tools in the book next week. I will be posting more about that. I'm also reading about the 101 in 1001 challenge and the 365 Project, both of which I plan to start. So, lots of good stuff coming in the next week.

I've also decided to broaden the focus of my blog to not just PCOS but life in general. I'm realizing just how much the two are related, and I want to make sure I keep that connection in my mind. So, look for a new blog name and description coming soon!

Here I Go Again...

So, my last post was full of excitement about The Zone, and the one before that was all about Low GI...and this is how my mind works...I've really been researching and trying to figure out a diet plan that will not only help control my PCOS but one that I can comfortably and easily stick to, and the more I look into these plans the less comfortable I've felt with them. Today I took my friend Meghan's lead and decided to go carb free for a couple of weeks. She's doing South Beach, but I'm trying to prove to myself that I can do it, as well as remind myself that I DON'T need bread/pasta/rice/potatoes with every meal to survive. I'm thinking that after conquering this major challenge (what can I say? I'm a serious carb addict!), I'm going to go back to the Weight Watchers Core plan, which is technically no more, but I did when it came out and I loved it, I still remember the "Core Foods List" and love the structured freedom it allows.

Tomorrow is my day off, and I'm going to start a new workout routine. I saw amazing results when I did 100 crunches a day, so I'm going to start with that again, as well as walking again. It's supposed to rain in the afternoon but I want to get some yard work done, because it REALLY needs to be done.

On another note, I'm slowly building my PCOS site up and just added personal stories from myself and my cousin, Annie. I'm hoping to get more stories from women I know with PCOS, as everyone's story is different and I want the very personal image of the condition to be clearly visible on my site.

In The Zone?

After doing some more research on the Low GI diet, I'm strongly considering trying The Zone. It shares many of the same principles, and is highly recommended for those with Diabetes. I like the idea of trying a more structured program to start with, as the glycemic index is proving difficult for me to grasp. After registering (for free) on I've learned how many "blocks" of protein, carbs and fat I need, which will help give me a good basis for planning my meals. I do miss Weight Watchers, as the program was easy, forgiving and definitely a lifestyle (not a diet), but I'm thinking I will try The Zone and see how it goes, and maybe down the road intertwine the two.

So, by using my guesstimated weight, and a semi-accurate (and disgusting) measurement of my waist and hips, I need 77 grams of protein a day, equaling 11 blocks of protein, carbs and fat. Now to find out what all of that means!

A Big Step Toward a Healthier Me!

I started smoking when I was 14, quit when I was 19 and started again a year and a half ago at 25. I have really wanted to quit, but the idea has been scary, as my boyfriend and most of the people we spend our time with smoke. Yesterday we made an amazing purchase that I'm hoping will bring huge and incredible changes to our lives. We bought two electronic cigarette kits. We got one that looks like an actual cigarette and has a recharging carrying case, and another that is a groovy blue and looks like a pen. We did the math and if we use these as much as we smoked cigarettes, we will be saving over $3000 a year. While the money part is definitely a huge draw, I'm so excited thinking about all of the chemicals we are no longer taking in. I am really hoping to make good use out of these products and gradually switch to a lower nicotine level and eventually not need this anymore, but for now, it's a great item that helps with the nicotine cravings as well as the hand/mouth habit that comes with smoking. I'm so proud of us for making this decision, and so excited to be able to breathe better, look better, smell better, workout harder and longer and to know that I'm not simply helping my PCOS bring on a ton of crappy health problems. While I may be taking very small baby steps toward my smarter choices and healthier habits, I wouldn't get anywhere if I didn't take a step at all.

Will definitely be posting more about the e-cigs as we use them more!

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The yummy and totally healthy lunch I made today: one can of tuna, celery, red onion, garbanzo beans, a little mayo, dill weed and pepper. So tasty and totally filling!

Low Glycemic Diet - Trying to figure it out!

While I've read that many varieties of diet are "the best" for PCOS, the one that seems to be really leading the way is the Low Glycemic Index diet, aimed at those with Diabetes (which PCOS can lead to). I've attempted the low gi diet in the past but have been very discouraged. Most of the books I read were published in the UK or Australia so many of the foods listed simply weren't foods I cared about. The numbers aspect of it all was confusing, as well. I understand the low, medium and high GI aspect, I understand that for the most part foods consumed in their natural state have lower GIs (funny how the whole foods are what most diet plans advocate, think there's something in that?!).

I found a website today, as I'm really wanting to get back on track and get my PCOS, my overall health, my weight and my diet under control, which provides a nice concise list of American foods and their GIs. I must say, www.lowglycemicdiet.com is proving worthy of getting me back in the game!

Here's a list of low-to-medium-GI foods I plan to add to my shopping lists over the next few weeks:

Fruit (It's warming up so this list is LONG!):
Cherries
Grapefruit
Dried Apricots
Apples
Pears
Plums
Strawberries
Oranges
Grapes
Bananas
Raisins
Kiwi
Pineapple

Cereal/Breakfast Foods:
Bran Buds

Vegetables:
Broccoli
Lettuce
Mushrooms
Red Peppers
Onion
Carrots
Peas
Corn

Rice and Grains:
Barley (pearled)
Brown Rice
Couscous
Cornmeal

Dairy
Yogurt
Skim Milk
Ice cream (maybe lol)

Snacks
Hummus (probably homemade...YUM!)
Peanuts/Walnuts/Cashews

Juice
Orange
Pineapple
Apple
Grapefruit

Bread
Whole wheat pita
Pumpernickel

Potatoes
Sweet

Soups
Lentil
Black bean

The key to the Low Glycemic Diet is to stick to low and medium GI foods, which will help to keep your blood sugar from spiking and in turn keep you satisfied, energetic and hopefully losing weight! High GI foods happen, and aren't terrible, but always try to balance the High GI food with a low GI food so they can equalize eachother a bit. Pastas are all low or medium GI, and their GI goes up the more they are overcooked (as do vegetables and other foods which release sugars during cooking). Like all diets, the key to the Low Glycemic Diet is balance. Focus on the low and medium, balance the high with the low, and you should be okay. I can't wait to go shopping and get back to the ME I so miss and love!

Let's Do This!

After starting a ton of blogs which only had one post a piece, I have finally decided to dedicate my blog to my struggle with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I plan to write about diet, exercise, PCOS facts and my personal issues with this condition. I am also working on building my website, www.pcosandyou.com, which I'm being slower with than I'd like. But I have alot to say, and it needs to be said, so with yet another new month about to start, and a new year of my life starting in a week, if I'm gonna do this, there's no better time!